I've got a great new idea for a sales pitch

"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce) 01/16/2014 at 14:49 • Filed to: humor

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While this won't be a Billie mays quality pitch, I think it might work for a little print ad if an automaker were so inclined to do so.

Do you live in a bad neighborhood? Does the thought of your car being taken at night keep you awake? Are you worried that car theft could leave you and your family without transportation?

Don't waste your money on "The Club" any longer!

Introducing.....THE STICK!

The Stick interfaces directly with your car's powertrain rendering your car useless to those not trained in its use. Even if forced out of your car when running, the stick might be the deterrent that keeps you, and your car, safe. But wait, there's more! The Stick's unique safety features double up with it's ability to help increase mileage and reduce precious momentum as traditional cars' automatics search through gears.

So don't delay, get your car with "The Stick" today!

spanfucker retire bitch > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/16/2014 at 14:52

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The Stick's unique safety features double up with it's ability to help increase mileage

No longer true.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > spanfucker retire bitch 01/16/2014 at 14:54

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Depends on the car, and I would argue that people driving stick pay more attention to driving smoothly than prius drivers who do 60-80mph on the freeway instead of just cruising. The MPG champions still use manual transmissions for record attempts for a reason.

Joe_Limon > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/16/2014 at 15:02

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Yeah... But then you are just asking for a class action law suit. As *results may vary.

You would be better off touting a more engaging driving experience.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Joe_Limon 01/16/2014 at 15:18

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But then someone will have a base model corolla and check the box for a manual and wonder why it still doesn't feel grounded to the ground.

Joe_Limon > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/16/2014 at 15:19

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I thought all Toyotas were grounded to the ground?

Also, I don't think the Corolla has a check box marked "The Stick"

deadlypixels > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/16/2014 at 16:19

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Haha, I've had the same thought a couple of times. Having a manual means I don't have to loan my car out to people as much either since not all of them know how to drive it. =)

McMike > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/16/2014 at 17:21

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Yeah, but can you do this with the stick?